Romantic Love in Ancient Egypt
Many ancient Egyptian tomb drawings depict affectionate gestures between a man and wife, indicating that there was an emphasis on romantic love in ancient Egypt. Common images depict couples touching each other, caressing each other, offering gifts, and smiling. King Tut’s tomb contains numerous romantic images of himself and his wife, Queen Ankhesenamun, engaged in romantic gestures.
Although the primary considerations for life partners were quality of lineage, personal integrity, and personal habits, many couples also opted for romantic love in their relationship. Men and women endeavored to make their spouses happy because it was thought that their marriage would extend beyond the grave, and no one wanted to be miserably married for eternity.
More emphasis was placed on the woman’s happiness than the man’s. A man was expected to provide for his wife in a manner that would please her and ensure her happiness. In return, she was expected to happily provide a neat and clean household that ran smoothly, to keep herself neat and well groomed, to provide children who were well mannered, and to be content. For the husband, this meant that even if he wasn’t passionately in love with his wife, he could be content and happy.
Many poems have survived which glorify the concept of romantic love, including posthumous loving odes from a grieving husband to his wife. Apparently, romance wasn’t always the answer though. The works also include frustrated pleas from widowers imploring their departed wives to stop tormenting them from beyond the grave.
Since wives were considered equal to their husbands in ancient Egyptian culture, it was important to select a compatible and congenial wife. Although men were considered the masters of their homes and the women and children were to obey him, the women were not considered subordinate to their husbands.
Men were expected not to micromanage their household, that was the wife’s domain, and to leave her in peace and quiet if she was satisfactorily performing her wifely duties.
Chastity before marriage was not considered important, the ancient Egyptians considered sexuality to be a part of life, nothing more or less. Single adults were free to copulate with others and illegitimacy carried no stigma. This helped the ancient Egyptians to ensure compatibility on all levels with their life partner and reduced the number of divorces.
Marriage Ceremony
Unlike today, there were no requirements for a legal ceremony for a marriage. When a couple decided to marry, or their parents decided for them, the bride gathered her belongings and moved them into the groom’s house, whereupon they were considered to be married.
When a man took a woman to wife, it was understood that he had his own household; men didn’t marry until they could afford to live on their own. They didn’t marry and then continue to live with his or his wife’s parents. This indicated that the man was sufficiently responsible to provide for his wife and future children, and that he cared for their well being.
Usually, documents were drawn up that detailed items specifically belonging to the wife and those items that the husband was bestowing upon her, but there were no documents required stating that the couple was married. Apparently, the bride moved her belongings to the groom’s house, there was often a celebration, and then they were considered married.
Marriage Agreements/Contracts
Except for the very poor, a marriage in ancient Egypt usually had a contract or agreement that was similar to a modern prenuptial agreement. This document specified the bride price, which was in essence a reverse dowry; that is, the amount the groom’s family paid to the bride’s family for the privilege of marrying her. It also specified what would be paid to the wife in the event the husband divorced her.
The agreement also specified the items that the bride brought into the marriage and what she would take with her in the event of a divorce. Children always belonged to the mother and they would go with her if there was a divorce, regardless of who terminated the marriage. Egyptian marriage contracts tended to ensure that the ex-wife was not left destitute.
The agreement was compiled by the bride’s father and then signed in the presence of witnesses; this constituted a marriage contract and was usually the only documentary evidence of a legal marriage.
Divorce in Ancient Egypt
Divorcing a spouse in ancient Egypt was as simple as the process of marrying one. There were no protracted legal proceedings, the terms of the marriage were clearly specified in the marriage contract and generally adhered to.
The exception to this was in the instance of the wife’s infidelity. Wives were expected to be faithful to their husbands and those who weren’t, if it could be proved, sometimes were put to death, either by stoning or by being burned at the stake. This was not always the husband’s decision; the court could overrule a husband who wanted to spare his wife, in which case she was executed.
Egyptian divorces frequently stipulated that spousal support be paid to the wife until she remarried. Unlike today, spousal support was always paid from the husband to the wife. Men had the majority of the wealth in ancient Egypt, except for women who had inherited wealth, and the man usually paid spousal support to the wife, whether the couple had children or not. The wife also kept the dowry provided by the groom at the time of the marriage.
